I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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