Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
