The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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