Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
