just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
