Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
