it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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