shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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