Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
