Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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