She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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