Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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