yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
