A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
