He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
