Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
