It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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