If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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