So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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