Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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