omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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