my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
