I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
