No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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