why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
