i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
