you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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