I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she smelled like a LAN party
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
