yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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