Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
