throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
