hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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