I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
