You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
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Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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