she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
