my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't deserve a penis
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize