Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
