my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...