Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?