My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize