wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
