Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
