my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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