Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
