It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
