It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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