If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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