respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
