you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
