As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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