you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i think my cat just said my name.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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