Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
