I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
