I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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