I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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