i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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