So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
