I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
