Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
