The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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