You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
