so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
