Whoa Z and x make the same sound
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Randomize