If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
