i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
