I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
