margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think your dad took our porno
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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